Season 4, Episode 7

There has been alot of emails about our lack of coverage of the the crazy housewives of New Jersey, so we have begged, borrowed, and dealed our way into a guest blog for last week’s episode. A big thank you to Lauren for this guest blog!

This episode starts off in Chicago on the morning of Chris & Carline’s brother’s wedding. We saw the morning mingling of the Giudices, Manzos and Lauritas.  Jacqueline’s husband Chris casually mentions the new article for ‘IN Touch’ magazine that Teresa wound up on the cover of (with a dog no less even though she is “terrified” of them) has now been released. As appropriately as they can, they discuss the content in which Teresa is quoted saying she is bullied for being broke by her “friends” and pictured is the article is specifically Caroline. With tongue biting expressions they drop the Teresa topic and continue with their morning. Meanwhile in the Manzo suite, Greg (family friend) has apparent guidelines for toothpaste and feels it urgent enough to waltz down to the hotel lobby in his bathrobe to purchase a certain kind for the trip. Doing so, he also stumbles upon the latest issue of IN Touch and brings it to the attention of Lauren and Caroline.  After a quick overview of the literature that just deemed her a bully and not a friend, Momma Caroline turns her reaction into a life lesson for her children, insinuating that Teresa is an example of the “worst kind of coward” and that it’s a lost cause trying to discuss such matters with a person like that. She also indicated that she was going to take the high road.

In the Giudice neck of the hotel, the scene jumps into an awkward start Teresa wondering about the bottle of lubricant by Joe’s bedside and a repetitive explanation of how people don’t understand Joe’s sense of humor towards homosexuals. The Giudices collect themselves out of bed to join the Lauritas in their suite to get ready.  Teresa immediately adds another tally mark to her lack of intelligence with her calling Princess Kate Middleton “what’s her name Kate Hudson” and the conversation continues to make sense as Jacqueline attempts to understand the magazine article. Teresa, obviously denying any involvement in the twisted story nor does she really care as she answered with a generic, “I just answer the questions”. She announced anticlimactically that her and Joe would be renewing their vows with the purpose of putting the rumors of their turmoil to rest. Jacqueline smiles with an Eric-like eye roll.

Back in Jersey, the Gorgas and Wakiles start the party at Melissa’s newly renovated shore house. Good news travels fast as Joe Gorga walks in with the IN Touch magazine. Neither of the accused bullies (Kathy and Melissa) are surprised by the article. They merely shake their head in disappointment and discuss the hope they have that the tabloids aren’t truthful, in hopes to maintain the image of the Teresa they once knew and loved (good luck).

Fast forward to the party bus in Chicago in route to the wedding where Joe Giudice is using his usual terms of endearment towards Teresa (bitch…whore…) all in good fun of course, and Caroline’s son Chris announces an upcoming road trip to Napa for their business expansion inviting everyone to join…everyone? The bus atmosphere steers into an awkward tension surrounding the idea of Caroline and Teresa on yet another trip together. Teresa hesitantly stops herself from sticking her nose up in the air and directs it to Caroline’s ass, dis genuinely spitting out any compliment she can muster before realizing that Caroline has also read the IN Touch article.  The Wedding commences with an over the top, horse drawn carriage entrance carrying the two grooms.  Tears consume the garden of guests as the ceremony continues with the vows and Caroline’s touching speech, forcing all the drama to come to a halt for just a moment.

Return to Jersey Shore house where the party continues and everyone dances poolside to Melissa’s new song. Rich Wakile pulls Joe Gorga to the side very interested in Joe’s efforts to drag Teresa to a therapy sessions. Together they decide to compose another heart-felt text to Teresa in hopes to strike a cord and make amends. For a brief moment it flips back to the Chicago wedding reception where Teresa announces to the uninterested table that her book has reached the New York Times Best Seller list (her ghost writer must be very happy), and then she thanks the Manzo/Laurita crowd for their support. No one is really buying it as a genuine “thank you”, but Teresa not taking all the credit for once is a somewhat pleasant surprise.

The Jersey Shore house party is coming unhinged with alcohol, whipped cream fights, and a no-drama good time. Pan back to Chicago where Teresa continues to dominate the scene receiving her brothers text and reading it allowed to Jacqueline and then following it with her need to communicate the fact the she doesn’t need therapy. She also interjected that her husband doesn’t think she needs therapy, and they don’t believe in therapy…. but she does think her brother needs it and it could benefit him (she is all kinds of messed up). Jacqueline struggles to find supportive words even though it’s plain to see her longing for any reason to leave the conversation.  The episode ends with some literal bangs as fireworks and floating lanterns completed the celebration of the Newlyweds.

Isn’t Teresa the complete opposite of “In Touch”?